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Forgiveness letter on Wed Sep 30, 2009 4:28 am
Steps:
1. Accept it happened.
2. Let it go.
Mother is no longer a term of endearment but the name of my slave driver. Led in by false kindness, I stand here confiding things this primitive creature should not know. Things to be unfairly used against me. Things that closed me off to her and the world around me. Soon to become paranoid of plots, I keep secrets to myself. I give and give and you take in return of broken dreams and unfixable trust issues. You think it's a phase or something that will pass. I remember the time when I was seven and spent Christmas day in the airport because you had forgotten to pick me up. I remember all fifteen years of your drunk boyfriend's mental tortures practiced on you and thus onto me while you had the power to refuse the pain, but chose not to. I could not understand why you protected them while i confronted them about the agony they had caused us. I did not need to though. I remember the nine times we moved to different houses inside of East Side San Jose. I remember the stories you told me of the struggles you went through when you were younger. I remember how you told me you were raped, stabbed, gang affiliated, stole, left home at 17, how your husband and my father left you for his other family, ate out of trash cans, and lived on the streets. This is why I have been so understanding of your condition. I remember the three years of having a father as an infant, and the abuse. I remember when you threw things at me and I cried. I remember you taking me to the airport the same day and told me if i didn't change you would send me away. I remember not having a bed for a couple of scattered years. I remember putting up a mental block for so many other memories that are not here. Because I don't want to become full of hatred even now, when I'm locked in my room because of another argument, I forgive you. I completely let go of everything you did to me and choose to remember everything you've done for me. Because no matter what you do you are my mother and even though I don't like you, I do love you.
Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness nor giving in. Forgiveness is you being able to gather enough strength to realize that we're all human and we all make mistakes and more importantly that you need to be able to let go of parts of the past to be able to move forward for your own mental health and well being. Any questions are welcomed. Post any expression of forgiveness here please. I hope you guys can understand the importance of forgiveness.
If you let the anger consume you, it will become you. Learn from others mistakes and you won't have to learn from your own.
1. Accept it happened.
2. Let it go.
Mother is no longer a term of endearment but the name of my slave driver. Led in by false kindness, I stand here confiding things this primitive creature should not know. Things to be unfairly used against me. Things that closed me off to her and the world around me. Soon to become paranoid of plots, I keep secrets to myself. I give and give and you take in return of broken dreams and unfixable trust issues. You think it's a phase or something that will pass. I remember the time when I was seven and spent Christmas day in the airport because you had forgotten to pick me up. I remember all fifteen years of your drunk boyfriend's mental tortures practiced on you and thus onto me while you had the power to refuse the pain, but chose not to. I could not understand why you protected them while i confronted them about the agony they had caused us. I did not need to though. I remember the nine times we moved to different houses inside of East Side San Jose. I remember the stories you told me of the struggles you went through when you were younger. I remember how you told me you were raped, stabbed, gang affiliated, stole, left home at 17, how your husband and my father left you for his other family, ate out of trash cans, and lived on the streets. This is why I have been so understanding of your condition. I remember the three years of having a father as an infant, and the abuse. I remember when you threw things at me and I cried. I remember you taking me to the airport the same day and told me if i didn't change you would send me away. I remember not having a bed for a couple of scattered years. I remember putting up a mental block for so many other memories that are not here. Because I don't want to become full of hatred even now, when I'm locked in my room because of another argument, I forgive you. I completely let go of everything you did to me and choose to remember everything you've done for me. Because no matter what you do you are my mother and even though I don't like you, I do love you.
Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness nor giving in. Forgiveness is you being able to gather enough strength to realize that we're all human and we all make mistakes and more importantly that you need to be able to let go of parts of the past to be able to move forward for your own mental health and well being. Any questions are welcomed. Post any expression of forgiveness here please. I hope you guys can understand the importance of forgiveness.
If you let the anger consume you, it will become you. Learn from others mistakes and you won't have to learn from your own.
