So my brother is dating this girl. And I do not like her at all.

I try not to be mean, but sometimes I can't help but mug her. I mean, she is the same age as me, and my brother is 2 years older.

My mom keeps telling me that it's not my problem.

But she's my problem! I ignore her, I don't look at her, I don't speak to/of her - but everything I try just makes me more angry that my older brother, who I look up to, is dating a girl for all the wrong reasons. (I'm sure you can guess what the reasons are.)

The Worst Part: She knows that he only asked her out for those wrong reasons, and that is mostly why I don't like her.


Can someone help me make sense of all this?

Hey Rachel,

There must be something about your brother's girl that he desperately wants... which allows him to compromise certain values that you put to high regards.

Your brother could also have a set of unspoken insecurities which allows him to date a girl for all the wrong reasons.

I know how you're feeling, straight up agitated.

I would just let these feelings go and channel your emotions and concentration elsewhere. Don't waste it on her =)

Thanks Allure :]

I've definitely started focusing on other things, like applications and getting Driver's Education started.

I'm just hoping that my brother realizes that she isnt worth his time...

Glad I can help =)

How old's your brother btw?

He'll realize with time =) He's just kind of blind to it right now.

He's 17...his 18th is in a few months

Hi Rachel,
Your brother's 17. Raging hormones take precedence in his mind.
Right now, the mature thing for you to do is not be mad at the girl, but worry for her.
If what you said about your brother is true, and that he only wants her for a lil somethin' somethin', he'll eventually get bored and toss her away.

She'll end up hurt, or bounce back and walk away. The latter will of course, be much more unlikely, but hey, more power to her.

You need to realize that if this is a mentality that your brother takes (that it's okay to date a girl just to get something he wants and for nothing else), you should be concerned because he could end up hurting a decent girl in the future.

It's misogynistic and it's wrong to do that, and because he's your brother, it's your responsibility to make sure he knows it's wrong and stops it, because trust me, if he keeps it up, he may never find a good girlfriend because they'll see what he's done and what he's capable of doing with no remorse.

That could hurt him more in the long run. Tell him to stop thinking with his small head and use the larger one.

Thanks Andy.

I have realized that, and he's stubborn. He won't listen to anyone, especially me. I must admit, I have done a few cruel things to both of them...so I can't really blame him for not listening.

It just hurts to see that he will always be like this. In the past, he has had a couple of great girls; ones that I actually liked. And he either cheated or did something else to chase them away.


The thing about him using his big head made the situation lighter though

Honestly, guys like him make getting girls easier for guys like me.

All I have to do is NOT cheat or use them for sex and for some reason I'm better, even though that should be the norm.

It's disappointing your brother's like that. I dunno-- I've seen a lot of guys like that. The only ways I've seen them stop acting foolish is either by losing someone they really loved, or by getting their ass beat. Sad.

Wow Rach, that is really wrong of your brother to think like that. As in you know, get something from the girl. But yea, I agree with Andy. I think you should look out for the girl instead.

Yeah. I don't know. It has gotten old (and more disappointing) with all the girls he brings home.

The other day, his girlfriend was over at my house with a few of her friends. She asked me in front of them if i didn't like her. I told her no, and she said she was glad she "cleared things up".

Live your life. Be happy.